The other day Brad Wall shared a post from Jason Kenney. That, in itself, isn’t much to talk about. The former premier of Saskatchewan and the current premier of Alberta are two peas in a conservative pod. But Kenney, who grew up in Saskatchewan and went to school at Wilcox (Woollerton, pffft!) has something of an attachment to the flatland.
And it was Kenney’s post of a video by “Quick Dick McDick,” which Wall shared on Facebook on Jan. 10, that had me in stitches. “This Sask farmer is a beauty!” Kenney said.
I’m pretty sure it was Kenney himself who shared it, not one of his communications staff in his name. No underling would dare risk his job for posting a video from someone whose other videos could be considered off-colour or risqué. No, it had to be Kenney.
The video was on the federal carbon tax. Quick Dick, as it were, explained in his rapid-fire manner, how “Our glorious federal government, in all their majesty, has convinced Canadians that the best way to reduce greenhouse gas emissions is to put on a charge on carbon. Our federal governments’ solution to pollution is taxation???”
He then used “a little bit of a twist” and show how Canada’s portion of global greenhouse gasses equates to a few cups of oats compared to a global five-gallon pail. (He has a thing for these pails, as shown by another video.) He then explains how perogies and sausage equates oil and gas, and the taxation of farting. It gets much, much better from there, and that was pretty good as it was.
I had to see more, and over the next few hours watched the other 20-odd videos he posted on YouTube, including “Protestor Diets.” It was very similar in theme to several columns I’ve written about hypocritical protestors. You can find him by entering “Quick Dick McDick” in the YouTube search bar.
I shared both in short stories on Pipelinenews.ca and they quickly got plenty of views, and continue to do so as I type this. It’s largely because the raw, tremendously politically incorrect satire is so biting, you’d think he was chowing down on the aforementioned perogies and sausage.
I had to track this guy down and interview him. Putting out a call on the Pipeline News Facebook page, I was soon contacted by Quick Dick McDick, himself.
His email said it all. “Hello Brian,
“I can’t tell you how many times I have sat on the throne reading Pipeline News. I enjoy all your articles!”
We talked for a half hour that night. Turns out that McDick, who would prefer not to reveal his real name at this time, is originally from around Tuffnell. Right after high school he went to work in the oilpatch in Brooks, Alta., and then a few years later found himself up in Grande Prairie, Alta.
He spent the last seven years as the operations manager for an oilfield trucking outfit, herding about 60 workers in a company that grew from three trucks to 36. They chased frac crews all over the place, supplying them with liquid CO2, N2 and chemicals. But recent years have been hard, and it wasn’t a lot of fun when it came to trying to fight for every dollar.
“That NDP turned things upside down in that province,” he said to me. McDick had “gotten tired of all the garbage.”
“It’s really turned into a disaster,” he added.
The intensity of his life was getting to him. “Your phone never stopped, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.”
And when he came home, he noted, “All of a sudden, your phone is dead.”
After 19 years in the patch, he had had enough and wanted to come home. He has a half section near Tuffnell that he rents out. After spending a summer clearing his head by putting over 25,000 kilometres on his Harley, touching every province and territory that had a road leading to it, he got back to the farm.
These days he helps two guys out as a hired hand, and it sounds like he couldn’t be happier. Well, maybe if he had a Mrs. McDick? He’s single, no wife, no girlfriend, no kids, but he’s got lots of females (heifers) following him around every day. I suggested he do a piece on mail-order brides.
“I found happiness immediately,” he said, upon his return to the farm life.
As for the Quick Dick McDick persona, that started from videos done on Snapchat. For a while, he was doing one a day, but on Snapchat, they would only stay up for a day. So in mid-December, he started posting on YouTube in a big way. The first video was “Trains vs. Pipelines.” That one saw 600,000 views on Facebook, which is ironic, because McDick doesn’t even have his own Facebook account.
Since then his videos have featured “5 Gallon Pail,” “Propane East,” “Coffee Row,” “Saskatchewan Shops” and “Saskatchewan Farm Trucks,” to name a few. But the best, by far, have been the “Federal Carbon Tax” and “Protestor Diets.”
I see he just posted “Agricultural Olympic Training,” which is also a hoot.
“I can’t believe how it took off,” McDick said. “It’s a comedy channel, where you touch on this sensitive stuff.”
“I’ve finally taken the time in my life to look at stuff and say, ‘It’s hilarious!’”
No kidding. Well, okay, lots of kidding. Quick Dick McDick is the most Saskatchewan thing to come to humour since Corner Gas. The difference is he’s crass, brutally hilarious, and has no sacred cows except perhaps the ones he feeds.
In other words, he’s perfect.
Brian Zinchuk is editor of Pipeline News. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.